this is from Times of India - The Heart Chakra by Pooja Bedi - I liked it and is now very relevant - especially after kanna, appa and now amma....................... day in and out gurutuvastaaru............ emi cheyyalooo teleedu............. ala ani not sad but all the nice things, all the things i wanted to say and could not or all those things that they said and in their company........... ala anevaru, ela anevaru........ etc....

Dealing with the death of a loved one

Pooja Bedi, TNN Jul 15, 2012, 12.00AM IST

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My mom told me that she wanted everyone who loved her to laugh and dance at her funeral. And if not possible, at least to promise her there'd be no tears, sobbing and wailing.

That when her soul looked down at her loved ones she didn't want to see them grieving and sad and to know she was the cause of their pain. She wanted us to always remember her as someone who made us happy. Everyone has to die someday, but what's important is how they lived and how they made you feel. I see every moment spent with my mom as a warm and wonderful memory. I laugh when I remember her funny antics; feel grateful for her generosity, feel happy when I remember her 1000 watt smile, I feel strong when I recount her fearless spirit and feel warm when I think of her tight hugs. What she did was create a blanket for me of amazing memories to keep me warm on emotionally cold days. I miss her tremendously, but I don't grieve in her memory. The only thing you should cry about when you think of someone you love is what was left unfinished, unsaid or undone. The pain of regret is tremendous and unfortunately can never be corrected. So while your loved ones are alive, let nothing be unsaid or undone. Take them to that park/restaurant/holiday spot they've wanted to visit for months, say "I love you", and "thank you", because you want them to hear it and know it, and give them that gift they've been hoping for! When they're gone, you're going to smile as you cover yourself with the warm blanket of wonderful memories and sleep content knowing that they are smiling from above.

 

(Dealing with the death of…)